Sunday, June 4, 2017

"Pirates of the Caribbean" Saga Ranked and Reviewed


I've always had a certain affection for the "Pirates" franchise. They were some of the first PG-13 movies I was introduced to when I was younger, and I find myself coming back to the first three movies frequently. The newest movie in this franchise, "Dead Men Tell No Tales", has released. So, I figured it would only make sense to review all the movies all together, as well as rank them (ironically their ranking goes in the same order as the saga does). So here we go!

1. "The Curse of the Black Pearl" (5/5 Stars)
 

There is no competition in regards to what is the best movie in this series. It's most certainly the first one. Even today, this movie still feels fresh and fun; I wish all the Pirates movies were like this. It is a little unfair to the rest of the movies, as this one is one of my top 10 movies of all time, so the rest of the films are held to an undeniably high standard. This is the film where we were first introduced to Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow, and boy does he make for a great character here. I love how Depp portrays Jack, as someone who has plenty of hilarious moments and a pirate's heart. But Depp also provides depth to his character, as he shows how Jack wants to help other characters out of selflessness. Jack Sparrow is an entirely interesting character here to me, one that I wanted to follow. The same can be said for Geoffrey Rush's incredible turn as Captain Barbossa. I love Rush as this incredibly fun villain; every scene he's in you can tell he's having fun. He's one of the best parts of every movie in this franchise. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley give effective grounded performances as Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan. Will's sense of bravery and honor is impressive, and I love how Elizabeth breaks out of the mold of her restrained upbringing. The chemistry between these two is rather good here, as you can feel how much they care for each other. Both of these characters also work incredibly well with Jack, both having their own intriguing relationship with him. There are plenty of other superb performances, from fan-favorite Kevin McNally as the delightfully interesting Gibbs to Lee Arenberg and MacKenzie Cook's Pintel and Ragetti creating some of the most gut-wrenchingly hilarious comedic relief I've ever seen. The plot in this movie about how Aztec gold turns people into undead skeletons is so creative and works well for the Pirates universe. Getting to learn about the history between Jack and Barbossa is highly compelling, and the world-building in this movie is just awesome. Gore Verbinski's directorial skills are apparent, as he makes this movie have some very enjoyable action sequences as well as giving it a bit of a dark tone that works to the film's benefit. The score of this movie (and all the ones following) has some of the most memorable I love this movie. It's a classic in every way, and embodies all that is good in this franchise.

2. "Dead Man's Chest" (4/5)


Though not quite as good as the first movie, there is still plenty to like about this sequel. First off, the plot of Jack having to repay his debt to Davy Jones is a cool idea. Davy Jones is often used as a figurative term, and it seemed like that was what they were going for in the first movie. But making him a living being is altogether more frightening. Bill Nighy is absolutely terrifying as Davy Jones. This is not the more satirical villain that Barbossa was. Jones is someone that is immensely terrifying, both in appearance and demeanor. Skellan Skarsgard gives perhaps the best performance of this movie as Will's father Bootstrap Bill.  Skarsgard gives Bill a lot of depth in how he cares for his son and will do anything for him. In appearance a character like this might be a villain in other movies, but Verbinski is smart in building him up to be an unfortunate victim of his circumstances. Depp once again makes Jack a character you sympathize with. There is a bit more goofiness to him, but it is balanced by plenty of moments of humanity, especially in this film's awesome finale. Bloom and Knightley both give great performances as well, with Knightley especially shining as she transforms into a full-on pirate. Ragetti and Pintel are more hilarious in this film. They are a shining beacon in a film that is a much darker in tone. That is a slight issue I have with this movie. It doesn't always have the same adventurous vibe as the first one, with the darker content sometimes verging on being overdone. But, it never actually goes overboard, and there are still fun moments here, especially in that memorable wheel battle scene. The ending to this movie certainly left on a high note with the epic return of Barbossa!

3. "At World's End" (4/5)


I'll admit, the first time I saw this movie I wasn't too big on it. But as I've seen it more times, it has grown on me. It is nearly on equal terms with the second film, though certain things about it make it slightly worse. Depp gives Jack Sparrow some excellent character growth in this film as we get to see a more compassionate side of this pirate. I liked how Depp wasn't overdoing his character in this movie (which he did a little too often in the second one), and instead made Jack's story have some real weight. I also like how Verbinski decided to expand on Davy Jones's back story, actually giving this overall evil character some sympathy from the audience. I did feel for him at some points, even though I still knew he was evil. Tom Hollander expands on the already frightening Lord Beckett and makes him more menacing and more interesting to watch. Geoffrey Rush makes a glorious return as Barbossa. I can tell that he enjoyed playing this character; he is simply a delight to behold here. Him and Jack have some hilarious scenes where they are competing with each other to be the Pearl's captain, and the results are worth it. I still crack up at all the moments shared between the two of them, and they make for some quoteable scenes. Jonathan Davenport absolutely nails it as Norrington here (I haven't mentioned him until now, but he is a superb part of all the trilogy), and his character gets a fitting redemptive moment. I like how the trilogy gives a somewhat satisfying closure for Will and Elizabeth (though maybe not the best ending they could've given them). Unfortunately the romance between these two characters was not quite as compelling here, with it bordering on the cliche at times. Another problem with this film is that it's way too bloated. There are so many plots going on it gets confusing at times, and the movie is unnecessarily long at nearly 3 hours. But I still like how this film did wrap up everyone's story, with Jack going on to new adventures, Barbossa captaining a new ship, and Will and Elizabeth married. The first three movies are all very enjoyable and make for a great series I recommend you to watch. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the next two.

4. "On Stranger Tides" (3/5)


I was very excited for this series to return after a long hiatus. I didn't expect it to come back, but when I saw it would be about the Fountain of Youth,  I was interested to see if it would do a similar thing where it took something historically real (ex. Aztec gold) and do an interesting twist on it. Sadly, the end product was a bit underwhelming. It is nice to see Depp once again return as Jack Sparrow. His performance isn't quite as interesting here, but he still plays his character as fun with a bit of a serious edge. I did want to follow him on this adventure, as his character is certainly likeable. Penelope Cruz fits in the Pirates universe very well as someone who is probably more conniving and deceptive than Jack is. Kevin McNally is a lot of fun as Gibbs, though he gets a short amount of screen time. Though Barbossa looks stupid in his wig, which reduces him of his more awesome appearance, Geoffrey Rush still gives a great performance and it's clear he's having a lot of fun with it. The rest of the performances are a bit weak. Ian McShane as Blackbeard is by far the weakest villain in all the movies, with nothing about him truly standing out. I didn't feel any fear; unlike Jones or Barbossa there was no characteristic that made me interested to learn more about him. Philip and Serena are incredibly dull characters, due to both writing and performances. They were clearly meant to be imitations of Will and Elizabeth, and they are very pale ones. I didn't get an impression for why I should root for these characters, as it was clear that after this movie we'd never see them again. Their presence, especially Philip's, was entirely pointless. Also, this movie is shorter than its predecessors, but it is a bit boring at times. There are still some fun moments here, such as the crazy finale and the very fun beginning chase scene. The scene with the Mermaids was cool as well. Hans Zimmer made the theme for the mermaids intense and ingrained in my memory (much like the rest of the music he wrote). This movie has good moments, even if it doesn't match to its predecessors.

5. "Dead Men Tell No Tales" (2/5)


For what is supposedly the final film in this series, a down-on-his-luck Jack Sparrow finds himself being hunted down by his greatest fear Captain Salazar after Jack "betrays" his compass. The only hope for Jack to save himself is to find Poseidon's Trident. He forges an alliance with Will Turner's son Henry and an astronomer Carina, who has knowledge in science that makes people believe she's a witch (more on that later). Henry wants to find the trident to save Will from an eternity of captaining the Dutchman, while Carina hopes the trident will reveal history about the father who abandoned her.

 I so wanted to like this film. But right from the beginning this movie feels like it wants to be like "Curse of the Black Pearl" but only comes off as a cheap imitation. Johnny Depp is sadly the worst part of this movie. For the first time, a character that I have loved in every other movie I couldn't stand. Jack Sparrow is basically a caricature in this film, with any of the weight or compassion of his character gone. Now Depp enjoys just drunkenly staggering and eating up the scenery with obnoxious and unfunny comedic antics. He doesn't seem to care for anyone else, and it's his own needless stupidity that causes Salazar to come after him. Jack is supposed to be a clever character, but he's just not in this movie. He also seems to hate Will and Elizabeth; what's the deal with that? I think Depp got way too much freedom here and needed a director to reel him in, but unfortunately it's not Verbinski at the helm anymore. Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario feel like even more pale imitations of Elizabeth and Will than Philip and Serena were. So, they're essentially pale imitations of pale imitations. Henry being Will's son was an interesting idea, but nothing is done to build on the potential. The creators were clearly trying to connect the trilogy and this movie together, but it doesn't feel united really.  Carina's character makes for an odd attempt at a feminist message. The misunderstandings the pirates have about her are meant to be funny, but they are repetitive and annoying more than anything. Brenton and Caya both show themselves to be capable actors, but their characters are badly written, so it was hard for either actor to make them compelling. Hans Zimmer's score is sorely missed here as well, with Geoff Zanelli only offering a cheap clone of it, replicating moments of Zimmer's score to convince us that his is good.

There are some things that work about this movie which keep it from being awful. Javier Bardem gave a solid performance as Captain Salazar. He's much more memorable than Blackbeard, and the effects on him and the rest of his undead crew are pretty unsettling. Geoffrey Rush single handedly saves this film as he gives the best leading performance. Barbossa is the only character here who gets something at least emotionally salvageable to work with. If it had been a different actor, I think that this story arc wouldn't have worked because the way it is written in the script is cliched. Because of Rush's immense acting skills, I did feel some gravitas to Barbossa's touching character arc. He was the one person in this film that I was able to relate to in the midst of characters that were either boring or very overdone. The action scenes are still fun to watch, especially in the beginning chase scene (which is so ridiculous and exaggerated it's just enjoyable) and the relatively tense climax. There are some laughs to be had in this film, especially in a marriage scene which I did crack up at, and there are a few other good punchlines here and there.

I don't hate this movie entirely, but I don't like it entirely either. I'm more disappointed than anything else. This film felt like it was trying to connect to the original trilogy and have some weight by giving a bit of a backstory to Jack. Instead, we get a weak script, too much CGI, and one of Johnny Depp's least memorable performances to date. Depp's performance really brought this film down for me, as I've always loved Jack Sparrow, even in "On Stranger Tides". It was hard to watch this movie with Depp constantly being an unlikable idiot. Two really solid performances, some good laughs, and well-executed action scenes give this film some merit. Those positives aren't enough for me to say that you should go out and watch this movie. I suppose if you want closure you will in some way get it. However, I think "At World's End" is a good enough place to stop, until (maybe) the next Pirates film comes around.

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